


honeydew.

by hhonibee



Category: No Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 10:30:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhonibee/pseuds/hhonibee
Summary: lovesick - potsu





	1. lilies.

**Author's Note:**

> lovesick - potsu

**_chapter i : lilies._ **

i met him on a warm, midsummer morning filled with bright smiles and gentle laughs. that morning, the sun had risen early, its golden rays blanketing my bedroom like honey. it seeped through my windows, filling even the tightest of cracks and encompassing me with warmth. it was beautiful, seeing how it illuminated my room with a lovely shade of orange. i hadn’t even bothered to sleep in that day, i rose from my bed the moment i heard collective chatter outside my door. as i brought myself to my feet, my silk robe draped over my body, falling down to my feet and hanging off my shoulder. even though it was too big for me, i never bothered to wear anything else. i liked the robe too much, it was far too comfortable to get rid of, and i always knew i would grow into it. and, despite all of those facts, it still meant too much to me. 

“evelyn,” i called softly, my voice sounding rougher than i expected it to. without sparing a second, she emerged through my bedroom doors, a gentle smile on her face. sweetness dripping from her words, she greeted me with a few phrases and a small bow. her long, dark hair fell from her shoulders like a curtain and her round eyes looked up at me with curiosity, as they always did in the early mornings. her presence often brought a smile to my face. 

“is there anything you need, my prince?” she asked, those few words coming easier to her than the simple action of breathing. considering her question, i shuffled across my room, finding clothes neatly folded on the couch that resided within my large bedroom. i touched them with a hesitant hand, thinking about how to answer her. 

“might there be anything i need to do today?” i asked, removing my robe before tossing it on top of my couch. i let her think about it while i got ready. as she stood there, i pulled a white turtleneck over my head and slipped on some black dress pants that were tight at the waist. like with many of my clothes, it was as casual and comfortable as i could get. 

“your doctor is going to be coming in for your physical today, sire,” she began, hands folded neatly in front of her, “he’s waiting outside right now.” 

i quickly whipped around, a small gasp escaping me, “has he been out there for long?” i whispered worriedly, staring at the large wooden doors as if they would open to reveal him. though, they remained closed, and evelyn chuckled lightly at my clear distress. 

“don’t worry, my prince, he’s only been there a few moments. i thought it right to let you get ready first.” a smile graced her freckled face, bringing a sigh to my lips. i was relieved to know i hadn’t kept him waiting, as i was one to sleep through mostly anything. even though it was still early sunrise, i felt as though he would’ve waited longer just to take my physical. he was the type of man to do so. 

“thank you, eve,” i smiled, “please tell him to wait just another few moments and i’ll be ready.” 

with that, eve bowed once more and hurried towards the doors. i could only hear her whisper, but i wasn’t bothered to listen until i could find a way to make myself look presentable. as she spoke to my doctor at the door, i rushed into my bathroom and attempted to do something with my face and hair. i brushed my teeth, washed my face excessively, and brushed through my terrible hair, which took most of my time. my curls were untamable, and i could only manage to decrease the volume. no matter how hard i pulled, it came out the same. despite that, i somehow achieved some sort of _good_ appearance. after fixing my hair, i decorated my fingers with gold rings and wore a gold necklace gifted to me by my mother. 

“you can go ahead and send him in, evelyn,” i called from the bathroom, pulling at my hair in efforts to improve it, but, still, nothing could be done. acknowledging my defeat, i shuffled out of my room and watched as eve opened the double doors, that same creaking sound echoing throughout it.

the body that emerged from it wasn’t my doctor’s, but that of a stranger. 

his viridescent eyes met mine the moment he stepped through those dark doors, and they burned with some sort of newfound passion. they were dark, intense, and i found myself trapped within them as he slowly made his way towards me. the chains that hung from his grey, plaid dress pants jangled while he walked, prompting even more curiosity within me. most of it regarded his style, which seemed to consist of only black, grey, and silver. other than the silver chain that hung from his belt loop, his pale fingers were adorned with silver rings, glittering on both his hands. to top it off, he had a silvery earring dangling from his right ear. remarkably, i found it quite beautiful. 

“who might you be?” i questioned, tilting my head slightly and gazing upon his short, messy, brown hair, “i don’t remember seeing you before.” i added, eyes not straying from him. 

“i’m alexander, i’m sure my uncle told you about me,” his voice was gentle, yet deep. he seemed very confident in his answer, his eyes straying from my own. he scanned the bedroom half halfheartedly as his dark eyebrows lowered, and he played with the rings around his fingers. it was as though it was a habit of his; he did it almost absentmindedly, like he was deep in thought. 

“he’s dr.callaway’s nephew, sire,” evelyn clarified, her delicate finger pushing her long hair behind her, “dr.callaway said that his nephew is going to be responsible for your care now. it was a subject of self-interest, it seems, he wants you two to get close. mostly due to the fact that he recently took up an apprenticeship.” 

“oh,” i held my hands together, “an apprenticeship.” 

“i’ve learned a lot, these past few weeks, so i do believe i’m trustworthy. and i’m only going to be examining you.” he appeased, running a hand through his brown hair. 

i tilted my head once again, considering him, “if you say so,” i responded as i brought a hand to my chin. 

“should i leave him to it, my prince?” eve’s eyes had that curious gleam again, a smile snaking its way upon her face. it made her face look bright despite the darkness that surrounded her. to conciliate her, i nodded my head steadily, watching her as she humbly bowed. it only took her a small moment to scurry out of the bedroom, her hair following behind her as she shut those heavy doors once again. the sound of them was deafening, though i hadn’t been bothered with it because i was focused on my newfound guest. 

we stood there in silence. 

“how do you get ready for these things, vincent?” 

my brows became heavy, and so did my tongue, “you know my name?” i asked.

“should i not?” he replied, eyes working around me. 

“no, you should,” i decided, “i just don’t hear it very often, is all.” 

his eyes continued to trace my body, and it made me feel small, and even more so when he laughed lightly, “should i call you something else, then?” he asked, making his way, slowly but surely, closer to me. 

i bit my lip, dropping myself onto the chair belonging to my desk and folding my hands onto my lap, nervous, “if you’d like, i wouldn’t mind anything.” i answered. 

“i’ll keep that in mind,” alex looked down at me with everything but fondness in his eyes. in that moment, i couldn’t come to a conclusion as to why. we had just met, and i had been careful not to say anything that would’ve offended in any way. nothing that was worthy of the pure hatred that seeped through his eyes and stained my heart with the blood of another. what i didn’t know, then, and what had kept me up all those nights after the physical, was the fact that it hadn’t been me at all. it was a matter of indirect relation; _guilt by association_. i didn’t do anything, and never did. the resentment alex felt for me wasn’t mine. instead, it belonged to my father.

\----------

i took an interest in him after that. he would pop up here and there, often fumbling about the castle. if he wasn’t walking around, he was occupying himself in the garden, tending to the plants. i doubted he was aware of the fact that it wasn’t his job, and someone had finished the task before he got to it in the afternoons. though, it was still nice to watch him kneel and gaze at the plants as though he had been connecting with them. it intrigued me to a painful extent, to the point where i found myself turning a blind eye to my schedule in order to see him. i knew it was odd, and creepy in a way, but, even so, i couldn’t gather enough courage to approach him. the way he looked at me _hurt_ too much. 

“can’t sleep, my prince?” evelyn asked, staring at my restless face one night as i stared out my bedroom window, looking down at the lake in the garden. the moon reflected off its rippling surface, gleaming and making the lake look as though it was shimmering. listening to evelyn’s footsteps get louder, i turned in her direction, staring upon her glowing face. 

“no,” i mumbled, my voice rough and hoarse, “i feel unwell.” i added. with that, eve pressed her head upon my forehead, feeling for any type of temperature. her cold rings grazed my warm face as she moved around my head, placing her head on my neck, then my cheeks. coming to some sort of conclusion, she sighed worriedly, her eyebrows folding into her face. 

“it might’ve been that storm,” she suggested, “you stayed out in the rain so long, despite my warnings.” 

“i know,” i huffed, “i’m sorry, i really enjoyed it.” i looked up at her apologetically, pursing my lips. 

“you may have to pay a visit to your doctor,” she brought her hands to her hips, tapping her temple thoughtfully. i knew she had been honestly considering it, despite how late it was and how unlikely it would be for _either_ of my doctors to be awake at that hour. a small part of me wanted to consider it too. i wanted to know if alex would’ve been willing to take care of me, even though it would cost him his sleep.

“are you sure?” i asked, biting my lip sheepishly, “it’s late, and i’m only in my nightwear.” 

“i’m sure, my prince, you can change if you’d like.” 

“i’ll do that then,” i nodded before lazily shuffling towards my bathroom, my head pounding with every step i took. by the time i made it to the bathroom, i was feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. my heart beat rapidly against my chest and i could feel sweat finding its way onto my skin. it was terrible, so i made haste and threw a baby blue button down on with a long pair of khakis on after sliding my pyjamas off. i didn’t bother to tuck it in, nor did i button up all the way, i had been too dazed to bother with it. 

“you’re breathing heavily,” evelyn observed, her voice dripping with concern. 

i shook my head, “i’m fine,” and followed behind her, watching her walk through the halls. 

the rest of the night had been a sleepy daze. it felt like forever, walking through those hallways with evelyn, until we got to the doctor’s office. i shuffled quietly behind her, trying my best to ignore the urge to sleep right then and there. every five minutes eve checked on me, sharing glances to see if i was okay, and that continued up until she found the door. it took two simple knocks and a few whispers before i was met with those pretty eyes again. my heart sank at the sight of them, still containing that resentment. when he saw me, they softened a bit, though it didn’t seem to completely disappear. i watched him talk, and talk, and even though i couldn’t completely hear what he had been saying, i was still interested. it could’ve been my confused and clouded state of mind, but i couldn’t take my eyes off his lips. 

“vincent,” his voice seemed to echo, like a melody my mind couldn’t stop playing to me. 

“i’m sorry,” i mumbled, trying my hardest to pace my breathing, “for waking you up. and whatever i did to harm you.” 

alex placed a warm towel on my forehead, his rings glistening under the light, “what are you talking about?” he asked as he turned his back to me, searching for something. small clinking sounds could be heard, followed by a string of quiet curses from him. 

“you _hate_ me,” tears began welling in my eyes, “i don’t know why, but i’m sorry. i’m sorry if i hurt you.” 

his brows furrowed, “no, no, i don’t.” 

i shook my head, turning it away from him in efforts to hide my face, “ _you do_. if it isn’t me, it’s the king. you think i’m just like him, don’t you?” my voice came out softer than i wanted. 

he didn’t say a word.


	2. alstroemeria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shits gay.

**_chapter ii: alstroemeria._ **

i woke up late that following morning, sometime near the afternoon, feeling drowsy and heavy. my heart hurt, and more so when i came to remember the events that had transpired the previous night. the things that i had said and done filled me with so much guilt and regret in that moment that i dreaded getting out of bed. i groaned to myself, rubbing my eyes roughly with my palms as if it would erase yesterday’s episode. i refused to open my eyes, solely because it would mean that i've accepted my errors, that of which wasn’t true. i opposed them, and punished myself with the persistent idea that i should've ignored that pertinent storm. due to the immense guilt and embarrassment i felt, i found it in me to go and apologize to alexander, which was a whole ordeal within itself. 

“evelyn, i’ll be back in a moment,” i called, already making my way out of the bedroom. before she could protest, or stop me, i snaked my way through my large doors. behind me i could only hear silent whispers, most likely from her cursing me due to my sudden and unusual misbehavior. though, despite it, i trudged on, trying my best to ignore the heavy unease i felt as i hurried through those large hallways. it didn’t take long for me to find that familiar door. regardless of the fact that i had spent most of my short morning pondering over what had happened, and trying my best to forget it all, the memories still swam back to me within that pool of denial. i remembered when i grabbed the hem of his shirt as evelyn left, in need of reassurance. i remembered when he laid me down on his bed and held his hand to my head, it being the only thing that subdued my headache. i remembered his face when i told him how he felt about me, and how much it hurt to know that it was true. 

it only took one knock before the door opened, and i saw his face again. 

“vincent,” alexander said, eyes scanning me as though he didn’t believe i was actually there. his brown hair wasn’t as messy as it had been before; some of it was neatly tucked behind his ear and some was gently combed through. like usual, he was adorned with chains, and they sparkled under the stream of sunlight that poured through the hallway windows. 

“alexander,” i responded, feeling sure enough to look at him but not enough to hold eye contact, “good morning.”

he shifted from his place at the door, uncomfortably, as his hand slid down the wall, “good morning,” he mumbled, “what brings you here?” 

“i just wanted to speak with you about last night,” i brought my hand to my neck, rubbing it before speaking again, “is that okay?”

alex's brows furrowed as he heard my words, a small spark of sympathy appearing in his eyes before he widened the door, allowing me space to enter. “come in,” he gestured inside the room. 

i walked in, hands shyly buried within my pocket. despite having being in a daze last time i was in that room, i still remembered the copious amount of plants that were scattered around. the flowers seemed to spill out of their pots and no part of the wall could be seen behind the greenery. nothing, really, could be seen, other than the large windows that were dispersed about the room. it was brimming with foliage as far as the eye could see. in that way, it resembled a greenhouse, if one overlooked the small living room area and the white desk that peeked out from around the corner. 

“you can go ahead and take a seat,” he shut the door behind me, “would you like anything?” he offered, running a gentle hand through his brown hair. his eyes rested on me, looking soft but indifferent in the same moment. 

“tea, would be nice, please,” i answered as i shuffled towards the living room couch, sitting down and placing my hands on my lap. i watched him disappear into an opening, his boots making loud thumping sounds as he walked. they sounded heavy, which made me take a quick glance at my own shoes, that were a simple pair of ankle boots. i wondered, childishly, if my shoes could’ve been able to make the same noise, or if i owned anything that did. it made me realize my trifling interest in alex’s choice of clothing, and him in general. i had made the mistake of ignoring it, i pried my eyes off the floor and instead turned my head to gaze at the pretty yellow flowers that sat atop the table.

only moments later did alexander arrive with a tray; on it there were two tea cups and two plates of sliced and toasted bread. when he set it down on the table, i came to notice that the bread was actually french toast and there was an array of strawberries on top of it, finished off with a small amount of whipped cream. as he arranged them on the table a smile found its way onto my face and i tried to hide the pure excitement i felt while a watched him slide my share towards me. 

“since it’s still pretty early, i thought you would like something to eat,” alex admitted, trying his best to refrain from making eye contact with me. he folded his hands in front of him, fumbling them, which was a clear sign that he was nervous, and i couldn't help but chuckle to myself. 

“thank you,” i took half of toast and licked the whip cream, “i really appreciate your kindness.”

“you’re welcome,” i could see the corners of his mouth forming into a smile, “is it good?” 

“delicious,” i said, before taking a big bite out of it. and, really, i wasn’t lying. i had to be honest, it was _different_ . i lived on cooking that wasn’t my mother’s, nor my father’s, but the cooking of professionals. the type of food others would treat themselves to one in a while was the food i ate on a daily basis, and it was good. it was what others would call _exquisite_. yet, alex’s beautifully decorated french toast stirred something unfamiliar within me that i couldn't describe. it was nice and warm, and made me feel as though i was safe where i resided on that couch. 

“i'm glad you like it,” he took a sip of his tea, steam rising from his cup. 

“i am sorry for bothering you this early,” my eyebrows angled downwards, “i have errands to run outside of the castle this afternoon and i didn't think i'd find time if i didn't talk to you now.” 

“don’t be sorry, vincent, i don't mind.” 

“you don’t?” i asked, and that prompted him to nod as he took a bite out of one of his strawberries, “well, good, i’m glad.” 

“what did you want to talk to me about?” alex slowly brought his hand to his temple and leaned on the arm of the couch, examining me. 

“last night,” i bit my lip, “i, firstly, wanted to apologize for barging in on you like that so unexpectedly. especially considering the state i was in.” i looked to him in an attempt to read his thoughts, but his face said nothing. 

“it’s okay, you were _sick_. it’s understandable.”

“perhaps, though i think i said things that might’ve hurt your feelings.” 

“it seems like your feelings were hurt more than mine.” 

“what do you mean?” i questioned, tilting my head.

alex’s lips formed a tight line as his eyes seemed to glaze over, “i’m sorry, that came off more aggressively than i wanted it to,” he started softly, “what i’m saying is: i’m the one that hurt your feelings.” 

he looked at me the second he finished talking, his eyes trained on me as if he was waiting for me to say something. though, i couldn’t find a word to utter. i think that maybe it’s because i realized he was right, but i didn’t want to be the one to outwardly confirm it. the look in his eye told me that he was aware of it already, and whether it was still true; i knew not. i just _knew_ that i didn’t have to say anything, because it already hung in the air like a sword, ready to pierce through him. 

“what you said last night was true, and i’m sorry,” alex’s thick brows raised, angling themselves down at the corners, “after seeing the way it made you feel, and knowing how right you were, i came to realize that feeling those things towards you wasn’t fair.” his voice got softer as he spoke, though his eyes remained on my own, seeming very sorry and sincere. 

“thank you, alexander,” i smiled gently, “i understand, and i forgive you. it’s rare that anyone comes into this castle without some dislike for the king. unfortunately, that goes for more people than you might think. being his eldest son, and the only prince, most of his responsibilities go to me and automatically make me guilty by association.” 

alex stared at me, for a very long moment, before speaking again, “are you okay with that?” he asked quietly, as though he was asking himself the question. 

“i don’t think that matters,” i chuckled as i turned to gaze out the window, “if it helps, i hate him as much as you do.” 

“at least we have one thing in common.” alex sighed, throwing his head back to look back up at the ceiling. his hair followed him, moving in all different directions. 

i laughed, “you’re really funny.” 

“am i?” he asked, quickly looking at me with a curious grin on his face. 

“you are,” i couldn’t stop myself from smiling wide, “would you like to walk with me this evening?” 

“i thought you had errands to run.” 

“i do, and i’ll _run them_ , but i won’t have much to do after i return. and you’re the only one in this castle near my age that doesn’t seem to want to assassinate me.”

“what do i get out of this, _prince_?” 

i giggled at his playful attitude, “anything you’d like.” 

“i want the garden.” 

i tried my hardest to stop myself from laughing too hard, “you already seem to have it. the gardeners are pretty furious with you as it is.” 

“then tell them to leave it to me.” his eyes glittered and it caused my heart to burn from within my chest. 

“you’re very bold,” i admitted, “we can talk about it on the walk.” 

  


~

after spending more time with alex morning, i hurried off to run my errands. i spent the whole day circling the castle, speaking with those who needed to be spoken to and trying my best to get things properly fixed. though it was overwhelming, and took me the whole afternoon, i got it done eventually. when there was only an hour until evening and could see a bit of dusk peeking through the windows, i made haste and urged evelyn to allow me to call it in early. at first, she didn’t quite understand. her dark eyes read my own as she spoke, asking me what i had been planning to do and where i needed to go in such a hurry. i told her without hesitation, and a fond smile formed on her face before she let me go, giving me a tight hug moments after realizing i was in a rush. i didn’t change, or even spend a moment in my room, i just quickly made my way to where i knew alexander was waiting. i was walking at first. then, i started jogging. soon, i realized i was running down the hallways and out into the garden. the plants rushed by me in a blur of color under the sunset, and before i could realize how fast i was running, i tripped and fell. 

right on top of alex. 

we rolled for a bit. after alexander tried to catch me, he realized that we would be falling back into a hill, but it had been too late. i clung to him, small gasps escaping me as we continued down that way for what seemed to be a few long minutes. i couldn’t see any of our surroundings. only alex’s face that was painted with worry and excitement. though, it eventually morphed into only worry, and that’s when we both found out where we would be stopping. i went in first, splashing into the water that was only a few inches deep. my back laid flat on the rocks, and the only thing that cushioned my fall was my long brown coat. alex followed right after, he landed right on top of me. his legs rested between mine and his hands remained beside my shoulders. he hovered above me, allowing me space to sit myself up. 

“i’m sorry,” my voice cracked, and i quickly realized i was crying. and, despite being drenched, alex registered it too, his head raising quickly to meet my eyes. i knew, more than anything, that my face never changed when i cried. the corner of my lips were never pushed downwards, my eyebrows never creased, i just _cried_ and nothing more. my face felt hot, and my tears felt hotter, and i felt really helpless. not only because i was crying, but because i was doing in front of alex, and something about that made me feel even worse. 

“hey, hey,” he said gently, like he was scared that his words might break me. he brought his warm hands to my face, wiping my cheeks with his thumb that was just as wet. “it’s okay. did you break anything? are you hurt?” 

i sniffled, “no, are you?” 

“no, i’m fine,” he stood up slowly, pulling me up with him. my legs were shaky, and i felt cold, but alex’s hands were warm enough to subdue my shivers. 

“i’m sorry,” i repeated, tears welling in my eyes once again, “this wouldn’t have happened if i was careful.”

alex turned to me and smiled, a small chuckle under his breath, “don’t be sorry. it was really fun.” 

i looked up at him, my eyes glazed over, “you think so?” 

“yeah,” he laughed, and i felt my stomach flutter. i tightened my grip on his hand absentmindedly, watching him as he looked around in search for an easy way up. 

“okay, then i’m not that sorry,” i mumbled, and it earned me another hearty laugh from him. 

“good,” he squeezed my hand, “here’s the plan: we’re gonna go up the hill, sneak back into the castle, quietly grab my clothes from my room, and then shower and sleep at yours. deal?”

“deal,” i nodded, “are you gonna sleep in my bed?”

an innocent question that required an innocent answer. 

“if you want me to,” he replied, and i already knew that the answer was yes. 

“wait,” i stopped him from walking, “why are we _sneaking_ back in?” 

“it’s more fun that way.”

we snuck back in, and the whole time i was clutching alex’s hand like my life depended on it. we found an easy way back up the hill, and somehow skillfully avoided the guards despite the amount of noise our wet shoes made against the tile. though, some part of me was sure they saw us and decided to ignore us. either way, i loved seeing the smile on alex’s face every time we snuck past a set of guards. hearing his bubbly laugh made me feel as though i had accomplished something, and more so when we reached his room and he begun to grab some clothes, always making sure i was in his line of sight. when we reached my room, i was the first one to shower. he waited patiently on top of my bed, looking around my room as i covered myself in warm water. it didn’t take me long to get dressed; alex let me borrow one of his black hoodies and he let me sleep without pants like usual. his hoodie was a little big for me anyway. 

“you can go in now,” i shuffled out of the bathroom, attempting to pull my curly hair back into a ponytail. 

“you look so…” alex hopped off my bed and walked towards me, “small.” 

“i’m not,” i scoffed, heat rising to my cheeks, “i’m almost as tall as you.” 

“you’re still really tiny in my hoodie,” he smirked, taking my wrist a looking at how far the sleeves went past my hand. he chuckled, almost endearingly, and looked at me with such an unreadable expression. 

“i’m not tiny, alex,” i said as-a-matter-of-factly, “i’m a prince.” 

“you really think that changes something, don’t you, vincent?” 

“yes, i do.” 

“you’re cute,” he laughed, fixing my sleeves before disappearing into the bathroom. i took a deep breath i didn’t even know i was holding. i tried to make it all go away. i tried to bury the butterflies i felt in my stomach, i tried to get rid of the tight knot i felt in my abdomen, and i tried to wave all of my thoughts away. this took me the whole time alex was in the shower, so by the time he came back, so did everything else. he was dressed in a shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and it made me feel underdressed. 

i laid quietly on my place in bed, buried under the blanket and my arms and legs wrapped around my favorite pillow. it was dark after alex turned off the bathroom lights, the only thing that illuminated my room was the bright moon, and it only did so much. though, i didn’t need to see. i felt the bed sink beside me, warmth emitting from his side of the bed. a feeling of longing overcame me. 

“vincent?” alex called, his body shifting. 

“mm?”

“what are you doing?”

“‘m hugging my pillow,” i mumbled sleepily, eyes fluttering slowly. 

“why?” 

“helps me sleep…” 

“why don’t you come here?” he whispered gently, a soft patting sound echoing throughout the room. i didn’t bother to think about it, i just turned myself around and alex found a way to pull me closer, his hand around my waist. my face was buried within his chest and our legs tangled together, warm and quiet. my hands grabbed at his shirt and his traveled softly down my body, soothing me somehow. 

“lots of fun today…” i rambled, “‘m still sorry.” 

he shushed me, “it’s okay, you’re fine now.” 

i remember my lips moving more after that, but i couldn’t recall what i had said. but, i knew the moment i stopped, i fell asleep in alex’s arms and didn’t want to wake up again. 


	3. rosemary.

**_chapter iii: rosemary._ **

after that, alexander and i grew very close. at dawn he would come to my bedroom with his amazing french toast, and at dusk we chased the late hours of the night doing whatever we could think of. he always had a smile on his face when he was around me, and it always made me feel like i had accomplished something. like i was someone who was meaningful in his eyes. unlike others, he didn’t seem to find importance in the fact that i was a prince. more times than not, he would get scolded by many of those who worked within the castle for his “lack of respect”. despite it, i found safety and security in alexander, and i depended on it. and, i learned only after a few weeks, i became very fond of him. soon, i noticed that my eyes hung onto him longer than they should’ve. i missed his embrace more than i usually would. i couldn’t seem to get rid of the idea of him at all. 

one early morning, i was busy helping prepare things within the castle. some impressionable guests were going so pay my family and i a visit, so i took it upon myself to ready things before they came. to my surprise, even though these people were widely known to be distasteful, the castle was still bustling with lively chatter. people could be seen everywhere; arranging platters, bringing in food, and rushing about the castle to do whatever job they were assigned. 

“oh, look at the _prince_ , doing his _princely_ duties,” a familiar voice echoed throughout the dining hall, causing my head to whip around and meet eyes with that dark figure i saw every so often. though, unlike usual, instead of his regular shirt, he was wearing a white button down, accompanied by a black tie that held a silver brooch on its front. though, those were the only things that were noticeably different. everything else was black, including the long coat that draped over his shoulders. 

i tried my best not to seem too excited to see him, “i _know_ , it’s odd isn’t it?” i responded sarcastically, watching him trudge over to where i stood near the table. it was always nice to watch how his demeanor changed when he was near me. with every step he took, his lips seemed to curl more and more, his eyes grew brighter, and everything about him was offset. by the time he was in arms reach, a smile was on his face and he seemed more than delighted to see me.

“you weren’t in your room this morning,” he spoke in a low whisper, as if we were exchanging childish secrets, “i went looking for you and then evelyn _forced_ me into my ‘best clothing’,” he put air quotes, emphasizing the fact that it wasn’t his best.

i rolled my eyes, grabbing at his coat, “it’s not bad.” i chuckled, feeling the fabric and toying with it. 

“that’s what _i_ told her, but she lectured me anyway,” alex sighed heavily, an annoyed look on his face. 

“she’s best at lecturing,” i tried to keep myself from laughing. 

“i _know_.”

“well,” i brought my hands together, “at least you’re here now.” 

he nodded, grabbing my hands and pulling me closer, “i still haven’t gotten my good morning hug yet, though.” he looked down at me, his round eyes glittering in the light. 

“okay, you’ll get it,” i gave him a pointed look, “just no funny business. there’s people here.” 

he rolled his eyes, that annoyed expression surfacing for a split second before he was smirking again, “no funny business.” alex repeated, bringing me to his chest. there, i wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and found a place in the crook of his neck. he did as he always did and wrapped his arms around my waist, his grip tight around me. 

“you’re the tiniest,” he whispered, a small chuckle cracking into his lips. 

“i could kill you right now if i wanted to,” i threatened, tracing my fingers along his back. he laughed, the big kind that made my cheeks grow warm and my ears feel like they were singing. it caused his shoulders to shake, making me smile in the process.

“i know you could, and i know it means a lot that you don’t.” i let go of him, but he still held me close to his body, “i still don’t know why _i_ was the one who got lectured, though, you’re still in your usual clothes.”

i fought the urge to lean in closer, “i had to do my things.”

“excuses, excuses,” alex took my hand, “let’s go get you ready.” 

~

“you’re not wearing that, are you?” alexander asked when he saw me emerge from the bathroom in only a big white button down and a pair of black socks. his eyes looked my body up in down, and from the way his breath hitched i could tell that he noticed how the shirt didn’t cover much. how it slid off my shoulder, and how half the buttons were already undone. i could see his mouth open slightly, fire dancing in his eyes, even though it only lasted a mere two seconds. 

“obviously not,” i shrugged, “i just couldn’t find my big towel in the bathroom and didn’t want to come out naked.” i responded, looking into his eyes as he stopped a foot away from me. 

“i see,” he said, and i could tell from his face that he registered none of what i told him. 

“what do you think i should wear?” i asked, shifting from my position. slowly, alex’s eyes found mine. that familiar flame ignited in his eyes and i felt afraid. not afraid of him, but afraid of the unfamiliar feeling i felt in my gut as he approached me. afraid of the way his look made my shoulders drop and my eyes well with tears. afraid of the way he touched me gently, and the way i leaned into it. 

“nothing would be good,” he whispered, low enough that it was difficult for me to catch. i laughed, almost nervously, and began to play with his tie. he was so close, i could feel his breath graze my cheeks, and it made me feel warm all over. 

“i can’t wear nothing, you kn—” before i could finish, alex leaned in and pressed his lips to my own. my heart stopped at that moment, everything seemed to slow down and i began to feel all of my emotions at once. it overwhelmed me, but in a way that had me craving for more and more and more. the way alex held my hips and pulled me closer had me reeling. the way he smiled into the kiss like he wanted nothing more made me giddy to the point where i felt dizzy. and the way he laughed, _oh his laugh_.

“i love you,” he whispered into my mouth, a wide smile on his lips.

in an attempt to hide my embarrassment, i hid myself in his coat, “i love you too,” i mumbled.

“mm? what was that? i can’t seem to hear you,” he teased, running his hands up and down my bare back. 

“i love you too, idiot.” i repeated, this time louder than before. 

“how cute,” he admitted, his fingers lightly grazing my spine, “you’re warm all over.” 

“i’m _not_ ,” i argued, “jus’ excited.” 

“oh? you’re excited?” alex lowered his fingers to the hem of my briefs, toying with it. 

“n-no, not that way,” i stuttered, my breath hitching at the feeling of his hands on the skin of my waist, “you know what i _mean_.” 

he further pressed his body to mine, a smile dancing on his lips, “it doesn’t seem like i do.” 

an unknown sound escaped my lips, and alex slid his hand downwards, clutching my thigh, “you just confessed to being in love with me, it isn’t fair to tease.” 

“i’m not teasing, i swear,” he lifted my leg, wrapping it around himself. his lips kissed the sensitive skin on my neck, sending an even _warmer_ feeling down to my abdomen. i tried to ignore it. i tried to pretend like i didn’t like the feeling of alex’s hips on my own. i tried to pretend the prickling heat surfacing my cheeks was due to the warm shower i took. but it was all a lie. it was alex. it was where he touched me, where i felt him, where he grew interested. i knew it. i knew it when he licked where my neck and shoulder met. i knew it when he lifted me off the ground and laid me on my bed, flat on my back. i knew it as he lifted my shirt just above my stomach and looked into my eyes, his face screaming _want want want_. 

“do you want me to touch you?” he asked me, his body resting between my legs. his voice was so quiet, so gentle, like he was afraid that if he spoke any louder, i would shatter into millions of tiny pieces. 

i nodded, a whine sitting in my mouth as i said, “ _please_.”

he seemed to think about it. his hand hovered above my stomach before he began to rub me over my underwear, and i could no longer suppress the moans that were buried within the confines of my gut. he moved his hand slowly, up and down, barely touching me as much as i would’ve liked. despite it, i was still overwhelmed with pleasure, and alex enjoyed the fact more than anything. 

“you’re so cute,” he kissed my cheek, using his free hand to trail up and down my body, “i’m barely touching you and you’re so worked up.” 

i wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close enough that i felt his sharp intake of breath, “i want more,” i hissed, gently grazing his lips with my teeth as i kissed him. 

“beg for it, prince,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving my own. without a second to spare, a whine escaped my lips, and i quickly closed my mouth. 

“no, i asked, so give me more,” i angled my eyebrows downward, glaring at the person who hovered so closely above me, “that’s an order.”

“an order?” he smiled, “i’m getting an order from the whiny boy laying under me who can’t keep his moans quiet for the life of him?” 

i stayed silent. 

“if you know how to give orders, you know how to beg, don’t you?”

i nodded.

“then beg.” 

i pulled him closer, bringing my lips to his ear, “please make me cum,” i whispered, my breath shaky and the rapid beat of my heart echoing in my ears. before i knew it, alex was sliding my underwear off. he tapped at my hips, telling me to lift them, then he tossed them off to who knows where. i made an effort to make it seem like i wasn’t self conscious. like i didn’t pay attention to the way alex’s eyes trailed my body, going up for one moment, then going down for another. i ignored how his mouth slightly hung open, his tongue slipping out for a split moment to wet his lips. 

“you’re beautiful,” he whispered, so quietly, i thought for a moment that he might’ve been talking to himself. his cheeks were dusted with a gentle pink, faint enough that it was hard to see, even under the sunlight. 

heat poked at my face again, and i mumbled a quiet, “thank you,” after i noticed his eyes meet mine. for a long while, alex just kissed me. he peppered them all over my body, finding my lips first and trailing down towards my collarbone. at some point, he lifted my shirt just above my belly button and began to press his lips wherever there was space. he smiled when i squirmed. he smiled when i whined. he smiled when i giggled. and he smiled when he found my lips again, wide enough that it was hard for me to fully and properly kiss him back. 

“i love you,” he whispered, his hand sliding down my body, “i hope you know i mean it.” 

i looked him straight in the eyes, my lips parted as i tried my best to pace my breathing, “i do, and i love you too.” 

when alex first touched me, _really touched me_ , the first word that came out of my mouth was his name. in a half gasp, half moan, i separated my lips and found that the only letters they seemed to know were those four. i said it once, then twice, then another three times until i could no longer conjure coherent sentences. the wave of pleasure that hit my body was so violent and overwhelming, it took alex’s sweet, soothing words to make me realize that i begun to cry. the tears rolled down my cheeks and alex tried his best to kiss them away, his eyes gazing at in such a loving way. i clung to his shirt, holding the material in my fist as he quickened his pace. i couldn’t stop my hips from matching the rhythm of his hand. i couldn’t stop my moans from getting louder. and i certainly couldn’t stop myself from making a mess all over his hand without warning. 

i frowned and looked up at him, my eyes welling with a new set of tears, “‘m sorry,” i mumbled, voice small and scratchy. he looked back down at me with the brightest pair of eyes, the softest smile, and the most endearing look on this face. 

“don’t worry,” he pressed a kiss to my forehead, “it seems like you’re gonna need to take another shower, though.”


End file.
